Why Slowing Down Feels Uncomfortable (At First)

For many, slowing life down sounds amazing. Then… we try it, and within minutes, our minds begin filling the silence. Thoughts become louder, and we remember all the emails we haven’t answered, terrible conversations, jobs around the house, next week’s plans, or questions about the future. Sometimes we’ll feel super restless, other times we might get hit with unexpected waves of emotion.

This becomes the point where someone might start to consider themself “bad at relaxing,” but that’s just not true. Modern life has trained us to become used to constant stimulation. Between smartphones and their infinite information, work, podcasts, shows, and social media—many of us no longer spend much time without some form of input. According to the Australian Communications and Media Authority, most Australians already spend several hours each day engaging with digital media, with smartphone use continuing to increase across almost every age group.

Simultaneously, the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reports that anxiety and psychological distress have steadily risen over the past decade (particularly among younger adults). Although these trends have many contributing factors, researchers are becoming increasingly interested in how constant cognitive stimulation may be reshaping our attention, stress levels, and ability to emotionally regulate.

This also lines up from a neuroscience perspective. Our brains have been designed to adapt to whatever we repeatedly ask of them. So, if our attention is constantly jumping between messages, headlines, conversations, and notifications; the nervous system gradually becomes accustomed to operating at a faster baseline speed. As what once felt stimulating eventually becomes normal, stillness on the other hand, suddenly feels unknown.

Rather than immediately relaxing, the brain will interpret the absence of stimulation as a space that needs to be filled. We’ve all been there—the place where reaching for a phone during a quiet moment feels automatic? That’s the brain seeking the level of input it’s become accustomed to receiving.

Slowing It Down

You might assume relaxation is something you can decide to switch on and off–but it’s worth considering the nervous system to be more like a gearbox. If you’ve been moving through weeks, months (or even years) of deadlines, decision-making, and sensory input, your system won’t instantly shift into calm just because you arrive somewhere quiet.

Rather, it’ll continue operating at yesterday’s speed—something called autonomic regulation. This is one reason that the first day of a retreat (or even just a weekend), can feel quite internally chaotic. The sympathetic nervous system (which is responsible for mobilisation and responding to challenges), can remain active long after external pressures have dissolved, and the signal that it’s “safe” to slow down, tends to take a while.

Neuroscience studies from the University of Wisconsin revealed that mindfulness practices can strengthen brain networks involved in attention and emotional regulation over time— and most importantly, they suggested that benefits don’t usually appear immediately. Just like learning a language or strengthening a muscle, our brains change through repetition. Australian researchers at Monash found similar patterns: the ability to slow down isn’t something we either possess or lack—it’s something the nervous system learns with practice.

More Changes Than Just Your Mood

One of the biggest misconceptions about slowing down is that the only goal is to feel calmer. Yet there’s a much deeper benefit, in that it can actually shift how the brain functions.

When the nervous system begins shifting out of chronic activation, activity in the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, creativity, long-term planning, and emotional regulation—becomes more effective. At the same time, the brain’s threat-detection systems become less dominant. Both of those shifts won’t eliminate our challenges, but it does change the quality of our relationship to them.

Researchers at Yale demonstrated that prolonged stress weakens the very brain circuits we rely on for thoughtful decision-making. In other words, when we’re under pressure: we become more reactive, short-sighted, and likely to default to familiar patterns. On the other hand, as the nervous system begins to settle: those higher-order cognitive functions begin returning online, allowing for greater flexibility, perspective, and even creativity.

So, if you feel like you come up with your best ideas while walking, sitting with a cup of tea, or spending time in nature—you’re not imagining it. It’s in these special moments that your brain has enough space to integrate information, rather than reacting to it.

This means we can look at slowness, stillness, mindfulness (or whatever other buzzwords we might use) a little differently. They’re not practices that refer to just an absence of activity. Rather they’re gateways to an intentional (and gradual) shift; one that optimises our internal conditions, and ultimately creates that sense of clarity we all desire.